After having what seemed like only condiments, Greek yogurt, and beer in my fridge getting back from our trip to Arizona, I headed up to the good ol' trusty Aldi's. Now, you do get some creepers and weirdos there, but this time was different. Every aisle I went down I seemed to run into a 40 something woman and her mother shopping together. They ended up in line after me also. They were just talking back and forth on the deals they had gotten and what they did and didn't need in their carts, but they were going to get anyways. I paid for my things, and starting packing it up when it was their turn at the cashier. The mother said "You can just put all of this on my bill." And the daughter protested "Mom! No, I can pay for my own!" And the mom just told her "It's fine! You can spend your money on something else." Then they both looked at each other and gave a sort of "You are silly, but I still love you" sort of smile. I almost lost it! I was holding back the tears so much I had to bite my lip. I know this seems so trivial, but the littlest daughter to mother reactions I see lately just make me miss my mom so much. I know I won't have that Mother-daughter banter anymore. Little old ladies held up by their daughters when they walk into stores or even daughters getting annoyed by the way their older mom is taking forever to make a decision, just really make me miss my mom. She passed away too young for me to enjoy her when she as a cute old lady :).
I am one to hold my head up high and not let anyone see me cry. I like to deal with my feelings when I want to and with whom I want to. Maybe I am keeping it in too much and that is why I bawl at the slightest little old lady interaction. Maybe I need to let it out more, or maybe this is just normal? Either way I have my down days too. Everything isn't always cupcakes and unicorns over here!
Memories will always be there, but they are painful for me right now. I will never see her act goofy again, be silly with my kids, dress up crazy, or even hear her confide in me or tell me something that is on her mind. That is what I am really missing now. So, if you see me pulling out my tissue at the grocery store, library, or a restaurant, know that I will be ok. Even if I don't want to talk about it at that moment. I am just missing Crazy Mary a lot right now.
To end, I thought I would add a mom type comfort treat with a twist!
I know we all love rice krispie treats! But have you tired fruity pebble rice krispie treats?
YUUUUMMMMYYYY!
You make them the same way you make regular rice krispie treats but replace the regular krispies with tasty fruity pebble krispies! This is the recipe I used:
Fruity Pebble Krispie Treats
- 1/4 Cup Butter
- 1 pkg. Regular Marshmallows
- 5 Cups Fruity Pebbles
Start by melting butter in 3 qt. saucepan. Once butter in melted add marshmallows and stir constantly on medium/low heat until marshmallows are melted as below.
Next dump in the fruity pebbles and stir.
*One tip I have learned thru the years is to butter the spoon or spatula that you will be stirring the krispies with BEFORE you begin to stir. Believe me-you will thank me when you don't have krispies stuck everywhere!
Last step, smoosh into buttered square pan, let cool, and munch!
No matter what is going on in your day, these will definitely brighten it!
Browbone, cheekbone and chin you get from Joe...never saw it in person.... and through the pics I have seen you, Crazy Stephanie(for sure Logan and Brody will be calling you that soon),get that from Joe too. You are your mamas personality...and thats one of the best things you can keep going to honor her because anyone who comes across you, it makes 'em smile! PS...ive experienced if you butter the knife when cutting the rice kripies too will help :) cant wait for the big swap thursday!!! wooohooooo
ReplyDeleteYour thoughts on your Mom are so dear to read Stephanie...I suppose what you are going through is just another phase of grief to get through. I hope it gets easier eventually. I'm still a little shell shocked myself. Our neighborhood will never be the same without her. I smile every time I see all the boys toys in her backyard, remembering how much joy they brought her. Mary packed a lot of living in her years-I feel lucky to have known her. D
ReplyDeletei know there is nothing anybody can say or do to help with missing your mom. you know everyone says time heals, and really it does. trust me its not on your time. it will happen when you least expect it, but it WILL happen. i wish i had this profound great sage advice for you.
ReplyDeletei thought when i lost my mom my life was over. i lost my way. i thought i could not be a mom, wife, or even me with out her. i was VERY wrong. i am stronger now than i ever have been in my life. she is with me every minute of everyday. i make every decision with the thought "what would mom think?" with out the lecture when i do what i think is best!
we have some pretty great husbands! they are men and do not always understand or no what to say. Paul was my rock. he listened or just sat with me and let me cry. lean on your husband. he does not have to say anything, just listen and let you cry.
know we love you and if you need anything we are here! with boxes and boxes of tissue!!
I wish there was something I could do or say that would make you feel better, but I know there isn't. This is a very sad journey you are on...take one day at a time, one foot in front of the other. It's all any of us can do. Your mother is safe and sound in your heart and in the faces of your little boys. I'm always here if you need anything.
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard. I'm not always good with my words. I know that when I came across an issue that I wanted to talk to someone about everyone was busy. And the one person that I used to call and talk to was no longer able to take a phone call. I started crying just because I couldn't dial her number.
ReplyDeleteYou and I know that your mom did so much for everyone and she was always there for me. When I needed a ride to Chicago. Or when I just needed someone to talk to.
When you offered to swing by and pick me up so I can go visit my newest cousin I started to cry. You are every bit your mother. Loving, thoughtful, and so much more.
I Love You!
Stephy Pooo.. You are always on my mind and I can't wait to see you to give you a huge hug! I wish so much that I can talk to your mom, to hear her laugh and get her advice. Aunt Mary was an amazing woman and I will always hold onto all those memories. You are so much like your mom and probably more than you realize. You are such a strong woman and I'm so proud of you on how you handled everything. You definitly gave me strength to get through your mom's passing when you probably didnt even know you were. I want you to know that no matter how far away I am, I will always be there for you. You can call anytime, morning, noon, or night. I love you girl and I hope to see you soon!!!
ReplyDelete