If I Hear The Word Wiener One More Time...

Seeing as I am a mother of two boys (and sometimes three if you include my husband), I hear a lot of things that come as a shock to me. Such as the usage of the words wiener, pee pee, butt, fart and poop.

Now I am all about being truthful and honest with my boys about things that go on with our bodies. But, really? Do I need to remind them everyday that saying the word wiener every chance that they get is just not appropriate?

It doesn't even stop during homework. My oldest son L, has to put words in alphabetical order sometimes during his homework. He and his brother have found it utterly hysterical to say every letter in the alphabet twice during this homework process in order to say a certain body part:

 "AA, BB, CC, DD, EE, FF, GG, HH, II, JJ, KK, LL, MM, NN, OO, PP!"

Yah, may be funny after the first time...but does it need to be said during every alphabetized homework page??

Now, they are not using it in an adult way at all! They just think it is hilarious to draw animals with wieners, draw people with wieners (in which they know they will get in trouble for this and keep it a secret between themselves), wrestle and say "Oh my nuts!" and act as if someone has hit them in the nuts, and they just crack up every single time! And don't even get my started on the farting! To say the least, it is getting a little annoying on my part as a lady (a lady that belched quite well, but that's not the point at hand!).

I want my kids to have fun and be kids and be comfortable talking to me about anything. But I also picture my kids being well behaved little boys for the rest of their lives. I know, I am digging my own ditch with that thought in my mind! And most of all, I really hope they don't go to school or to other peoples houses and talk like that! I could only imagine what other adults might think we talk about at our house after hearing the word wiener like 50 times!!

I explained to my husband that this wiener craze needs to be toned down. He informed me that they are boys! They are going to be obsessed with it at some point in there lives and I have to just get used to it. I about fainted! I can't picture my little Lo-Lo and Bro-Bro obsessed with...oh wait...they are males...well, seeing as I am a female and have always been surrounded by boys my whole life (I have 3 brothers). I should be used to it by now!

But it still never ceases to embarrass and annoy me when I hear the conversation at dinner time steering towards the dreaded wiener talk.

I guess I better get used to it! While I bake my cookies and paint my nails pink, I still know that with all these boys around I have a lifetime of fart jokes, poop stories, and wiener drawings to put up with. Someone save me now!

Things My Kids Say

I am writing this knowingly that there are some other Mom's to boys out there that at some point have this talk when they are young.

I have vowed to always be honest with my kids. No matter what they ask me, I am going to be honest. Whether I need to explain it in a child-like understanding way, it will still be the truth. I ask them to be honest, so why wouldn't I do the same for them?

The "talk" I am speaking of is why boys are called boys and girls are called girls.

Here are a few misconceptions I have had to clear up:

B, my 4 year old, says, "Girls have pee-pees too."
I respond, "No we do not have pee-pee's we have Vagina's." (Which I have already explained in the past is where babies are born from).
Response: "BAGINAS!!??" With a puzzled look. Then it was left alone for awhile.

B walked in on me one day while I was going to the bathroom. As I yelled "Privacy!" he looked at me funny then walked out.
 After I got out of the bathroom he asks, "If you don't have a pee-pee how do you go potty?"
I explained that he goes potty out of his pee-pee, and I do the same just out of my vagina (just keeping it child-like on the explaining here). He leaves it alone.

While traveling with my Dad, B busts out and says "Papa, did you know that girls don't have pee-pees?!" My Dad just looked at me and says, "Rrreeaallyy?"
And then I hear my oldest talking all low and snickering as he says, "Ya, Mama poops and pees out of  her BUTT!"
Me, " Uhhh...not true!" But it was funny that he thought he was making a joke out of it....more childlike explanations were in store on this one.

Then, over the weekend B asks me, "If you punch your pee-pee too much will you turn into a girl?" I might add, that he is 4 and asks this VERY seriously. I say, "Well, you may hurt it instead. But (jokingly say) you might turn into a girl :)."

His response," Is that what happened to you?"